ALL CAP, NO CATTLE
ALL CAP, NO CATTLE
A little sarcasm, a lot of style. These beauty, fashion, and lifestyle picks? They don’t bluff.
ALL CAP, MY FAVORITE THINGS (RIGHT NOW)
ALL CAP, MY FAVORITE THINGS (RIGHT NOW)
THINGS I CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT
I love a good return policy. But I love a product that doesn’t need one even more.
Every rec here is something I’ve actually tested—from chemical exfoliants that don’t burn your face off to pants that flatter on actual humans. I’m allergic to fluff. I get secondhand embarrassment from bad packaging. If I’m talking about it, it’s because it delivered.
I spent 5 years at GQ Magazine and Condé Nast, where overhyped products were part of the job. Now? I spend my days consulting in the health, wellness, and surgical space—where evidence matters more than aesthetic.
This corner of the internet is where good taste meets clinical-grade standards. Welcome.
Created by Dr. Hiki—the inventor of carboxy therapy—Spaoxy Gel is my skin’s emergency reset button. No needles, no downtime, just a rush of oxygen that brings glow back fast. I use it post-travel, post-laser, or anytime my face needs to recover and look like it didn’t just recover. 20% off with code: Brian20 (affiliate link).
I firmly believe in the science behind red light therapy. I do it 5x a week for a max of 20 mins. I’ve tested them all (Jovs did not get passing marks). Lumara is my pick — 470 LEDs and true full-face coverage.
My followers earn 10% off any Lumara purchase with the code: Brian10 (affiliate link).
ALL CAP, BEauty
ALL CAP, Beauty is where my no-BS beauty obsessions live—skincare that works, tools that deliver, and treatments that earn their hype. From barrier-repairing serums to biohacking face masks, these are my top picks worth every click. SEO-optimized, derm-backed, and tested.. on my own (very picky) skin. NY
ALL CAP, WRIST CHECK
New ALL CAP, Wrist Check is my curated edit of pre-owned luxury watches—from Patek Philippe and Vacheron Constantin to Rolex and Audemars Piguet. I’ve combed through trusted resale sources like eBay, TheRealReal, and beyond to bring you the best second-hand finds worth investing in. Timeless style, real-deal value, and SEO gold for horology lover., NY
ALL CAP, Exosomes & More
ALL CAP, Exosomes & More is your insider’s guide to the most advanced anti-aging skincare on the market—featuring medical-grade formulas backed by science, not hype. I rely on Plated Calm, an exosome-powered serum ideal for acne-prone skin, and Neocutis Lumière, my holy grail eye cream formulated with human growth factors for firming, smoothing, and brightening without breakouts. For prescription-level results, Musely’s Anti-Aging Cream delivers deeply hydrating Tretinoin in a custom-compounded formula. These are the heavy-hitters in regenerative skincare—think exosomes, growth factors, and clinical-grade actives that gobeyond your typical anti-aging routine.
Read the breakdown: what the science actually shows on exosomes for hair loss.
Curated, tested, ranked
Shop the Edit
The collections I keep updated, organised the way I would actually explain them to you: cheapest-that-works through to the version worth the money.
01
Gifts For The Host
The edit I send people every December. Candles, glassware and small objects that look like you thought about it, at prices that do not require you to have.
02
Red Light: Low, Mid, High
Every red light device I have tested, sorted into three honest tiers. Joules matter more than irradiance, and the spec sheet will not tell you which one you are buying.
03
Sunless Tanners
The foam, the mitt and the face-specific formula that stop self-tan reading orange. Four rules cover most of it. The products just make them easier to follow.
04
Eye Masks & Sheet Masks
The reusable and single-use masks worth the ten minutes. Highest repeat-purchase rate of anything I recommend, which tells you something.
05
Longevity Supplement Stack
What I actually take, and why. No proprietary blends, no adaptogen theatre, just the compounds with human data behind them.
06
All Cap, Fashion
Pants that flatter on actual humans. Fit notes, fabric that survives a wash cycle, and the pieces I have re-bought rather than the ones I posted once.
All ShopMy links are affiliate links. Shopping through them funds the testing.